Bitter

It has been a year since I severed ties with my former employer and moved to a new company which holds office in the same building. My former big boss seems to have ill feelings on our parting.

BB does not acknowledge my presence when we bump into each other– in the lobby, in the elevator, or at their office when I have official business to attend to. The last chance encounter was on Friday where we practically sat inches from each other in a crowded restaurant. I acknowledged BB’s presence, BB did not.

It was unbecoming for someone of BB’s stature. It was unprofessional. Surely, I won’t be as friendly the next time around. I did no wrong. I had no binding contract. Nagpaalam naman ako ng maayos.

Seriously, BB has to stop being bitter. Get over it. Move on.

Office Space

I used to love my job. I used to get a high, a sort of euphoria, when I see a new production issue logged to the team. I know I’m good with what I do and I almost always get the job done.

But that love has gone to semi-hatred in a span of five months. I almost hate my job. I don’t like going to work. It has become a chore, a hassle. I don't like it that no production issues or requests are coming in that I could sink my teeth into. I don't like it that forums and vendor sites related to my job are either blocked or access is limited. I don’t like sitting on my ass for nine hours with not much to do but watching out for breaking news on www.inquirer.net, staring at MS Outlook, or discreetly watching The X-Files on my Ipod.

Friends have told me that I must be the luckiest guy in the world. I get paid to sit and surf the internet and write blog drafts. I tell them having idle time for once or twice in a month is good. But for 4 months and counting?

My brain cells are stagnant. They’re asleep. They need to be woken up and do some serious exercise.

*****

I thrive on teamwork. On quick lunch outs. On small non-work-related chats within an 8-hour shift.

Now, how do I survive on a team who are on war with each other? Where One gives Another the cold shoulder because Another earns more than the One? Where the boss does not try to defend his subordinates in times of head-butting with upper management? Where the boss is meek and assertiveness is an alien word? Where, in short, the boss has absolutely no leadership skills?

Working on a team such as this one sucks the life out of me. Signing in on to this job was a mistake.

Scud's Random Thoughts: Part VIII

I miss doing my random thoughts and since I have things in mind that I want to blog but too tired to do separate posts I might as well revisit this for the nth time. Here it goes...

*****

They were twins, born a week apart. One was extremely intelligent, the other a semi-retard. One was mean, the other lovable. One speaks with the head straight, the other angled to the side. They are Kimmy and Dora, played superbly by Eugene Domingo with the same title sans the and.

The film is a riot. I haven't laughed out loud over a non-festival Filipino film since Ang Tanging Ina many years ago. The Aiza Seguerra song at the end was pretty good too. And Miriam Quiambao is hot.

Watch this!

*****

Three years after the extremely gross and funny Borat, Sacha Baron Cohen is at it again with Bruno. This time he is a gay Austrian desperate to make himself famous or rather infamous based from what he was doing the entire 83-minute running time.

This film is a disappointment. The filmmakers were trying too hard to top Borat. Scenes that were actually funny - the Paula Abdul interview, the Jerry Springer-type show, the wrestling match turned into a gay makeout scene - were few and far between.

Don't pay your hard-earned P140 pesos for this. Eight minutes were cut from the original version. If you really do want to give it a try, buy the dvd. It costs a 100 bucks less.

*****

The US Open, the last tennis major for the calendar year, is underway. As I write this Roger Federer is down a set against Lleyton Hewitt. That is good news since I don't like the 15-time Grand Slam Champion. Bad news is that Novak Djokovic, the only person capable beating Federer before the Finals, is down a set against an American and crowd-favorite Widden. Dammit!

Here's hoping my bets on the men's and women's singles - Murray, Nadal, Djokovic, Sharapova, Clijsters - win the tournament. Magpapa-cheeseburger ako pag nagkataon!

*****

Speaking of tennis, the pact that I and three of my friends made last year to begin playing the sport finally pushed through. It was only this month that all four of us were free from work obligations.

We learned the basic strokes - forehand and backhand - and I tell you it ain't a walk in the park. My forehand sucks but my backhand, which a friend of mine envied, was pretty good. I did hit a lot of moon balls though. The trainer said I was using too much power and was flicking my wrist like I was playing badminton. Arrrggghhhh!

I need practice. More practice. Maybe I should give labs a ring and ask for some tips. Perfect timing too since she's turning 29 within the month.

*****

I don't like my new job. There. I said it. Finally. It sucks. Big time. The tasks are few. I don't get any development work. Documentation of resolutions to application issues are non-existent. My manager don't act like he is one. My lead is an ass. My teammates are a bore. Some of them anyway.

I'm not quitting though. The pay is good. And my finally needs me. This is not the time to be selfish.

*****

I arrived at the office on Friday and found a stress ball on my desk. Nobody knew who left it when I asked around. Someone must have sensed I was stressed for the past few days investigating a production issue and thought the ball would be of help. It didn't.

I only squeezed it once then immediately tucked it on the same place where I first found it. I was not, even remotely, interested in doing a little bit of sleuthing on who gave the ball. Maybe after that damned production issue is resolved.

*****

I was trying out a shirt at the Megamall when I heard a couple talking from separate dressing rooms. I heard a rustling of clothes. Then I heard the woman say out loud "I can smell myself in here".

My mind started working on overdrive. I wondered "What must she be smelling?".

A New World

This week was my first in my new job.

BORING.

I didn't have much to do. I only have two-hour training per day with my manager about processes and stuff. The rest of the time was spent surfing the net, reading an ebook, or playing Freecell or Klondike on my phone.

I have this weird habit of playing cards, electronic or the real thing, when something's troubling me. I make a wish and try to complete a game 3x in a row. I continue playing for hours and even days until I meet the criteria.

This time I wished she would come back into my arms. I was successful. Twice.

*****

This week was my first in my new job.

BORING.

Except for the time when Facilities issued me my office supplies. I signed the slip without bothering to check what those supplies were. When I did I almost laughed out loud.

They issued me a freaking calculator. The kind used by accountants and salesladies. I was like what am I going to do with that?

*****

This week was my first in my new job.

BORING.

There is internet but the sites allowed are limited. Sports and Entertainment sites and sections are blocked. Heck, even the review section of clickthecity is blocked. Dang!

Outside email engines are blocked too. No YahooMail. No Gmail.

And no instant messenger. No YM. No AIM. No Meebo.

Management must be training their employees to be workaholics. It's working.

My teammates don't talk to each other. They're too focused. They don't joke around. They don't go for afternoon snacks.

I miss my old teammates.

*****

This week was my first in my new job.

BORING.

I like my new office though. It's big. I have a huge LCD monitor. I have a desktop with a 2++ GHz clock speed and a 2Gb RAM.

And they pay well.

*****

This week was my first in my new job.

BORING.

The day is going to end on a bright note. I and my old teammates are getting together for a night of binge drinking.

My latest status update is right on.

I have drank more beer these past four weeks than the previous three years combined.

*****

Have a great weekend everyone!

Hiatus

I am no wuss. I confront problems and conflicts head on. I am not the type of guy who downs bottles of beer to escape from personal issues. I don't go partying or sleep around.

I am strong. Or so I thought. Until my recent heartbreak. I did what a wuss would do. I escaped.

To set the record straight, I didn't sleep around. Nor went partying. I did drink bottles of beers. Smoked a few cigarettes. I drew the line there. I didn't wail. I didn't smash things. I was cool on the outside but was actually a wreck.

What I did was I stopped blogging. Some of you may have noticed. I did not approve any of your comments. I didn't comment on my blogroll's recent posts. I distanced myself from the internet. I went on a self-imposed hiatus. And I didn't announce it.

It's been almost 2 weeks since. I didn't want to post more about what I'm going through. I didn't want my blog to be a diary of my current state of mind (emotions?) - mad, sad, disappointed, angry, melancholic.

But I'm back now. I will still write about my loss but not as often as to make you cringe and click that x button faster than one could say SCUD.

*****

Allow me to make updates. Be warned though. This is going to be a long post. My longest, I think.

To start with, I finally bid farewell to my company over a week ago. My last day was not as smooth-sailing and enjoyable as I would have wanted to. I almost butted heads with upper management. Not a great way to end my 2.5-year stay. The day ended in a great way though. I had dinner and a few drinks with a couple of my best buds from the office.

A day after I went to watch the Archuleta/Cook concert at the MOA Concert Grounds. Archuleta was good but Cook was freaking fantastic. He sang 'Always Be My Baby' and 'Come Back To Me' which made me a little bit wistful. Tagos hanggang buto ang lyrics. It was the best way to spend my last night in Manila.

A few hours later (and 3 hours of sleep later) I was at the airport ticket, backpack, and duffel bag in hand. I was, as I mentioned earlier, escaping.

I needed to get out of the city. I needed to recharge. I needed to be with people who would help me forget, even for a bit, her.

So I flew to DC. I spent a week there.

I hugged my 93-year-old lola who, as expected, was ecstatic to see me then immediately asked me for money. Haha. Si lola talaga.

I played with my niece.

I went to the beach.

I bonded with my bro, sister-in-law, cousins, aunts, uncles.

I went to visit my aunt's final resting place. Next week is her first death anniversary.

I sang my heart out during a night of karaoke and over 6 Red Horse Grandes. That was the first time I sang and got drunk with my folks.

I slept too. I slept for like 10 hours a day which is more or less the same amount of sleep spent for 3 days in Manila.

I completed reading Russell Banks' The Sweet Hereafter about a sleepy town in New York coming to terms from a terrible bus accident that claimed the lives of their children. A wonderfully written book. A must read. You guys should also watch the movie adaptation starring Sarah Polley and directed by Atom Egoyan. That is if you want to get depressed.

I watched Sex Drive. It was hilarious. The plot has been done countless times before. Lanky teen desperate to lose his virginity meets a hot chick on the internet, fakes his identity, steals his brother's hot car, and goes on a road trip with friends for an eyeball.

I finished my Season 2 marathon of The West Wing. I have seen all episodes of The Sopranos, Six Feet Under, The X Files, Lost, Friends and none of these can topple Aaron Sorkin's creation of a fictional Democrat president's stint in the White House on the top of my all-time favorite TV shows. It's extremely intelligent, funny, superbly acted and shot, and full of heart. The rapid-fire dialogue is nifty and reminds me of Mike de Leon's oeuvre. Never mind that there are times I don't get what Leo, CJ, Sam, Josh blabber on, the show still rocks.

I was also able to watch the final performance night and finale of American Idol. I haven't blogged about this show this season but I have made comments on other blogs. That I liked Gokey in the semis but shifted allegiance in the finals when I noticed his song choices was too blah. That I am not a fan of Lambert's screeching although his Mad World and The Tracks of My Tears are two of my personal favorite performances this season. That I was rooting for Kris Allen because he has amazing song choices (Kanye West's Heartless, Falling Slowly from the Once soundtrack to name a couple), cool arrangement, and nice jackets.

I thought the finale was great. From the top of my mind the most memorable were Allen and Keith Urban's duet, Gokey's Hello, Black Eyed Peas, bikini girl and Kara, Allison Iraheta and Cyndi Lauper's Time After Time, and Michael Sarver and that tattooed chick performing with Steve Martin.

Before I forget, Kris Allen won! I'm pretty good on choosing my bets - Underwood and Bice on S4, McPhee and Yamin on S5, Lewis on S6, David Cook on S7.

And yeah. While I was in DC she was on my thoughts . Every day. Morning. Noon. Night. In my dreams. In the middle of watching a movie.

I miss her terribly. And still mad. And saddened by the thought that we can never be together again.

*****

I'm now back in Manila. Plane landed a few hours ago. I'm blogging again. I approved comments. I backread posts from my blogroll. I made comments on their posts. I blog-hopped.

I'm catching up with my reading. Movies to watch. TV show marathons to complete. Hobbies that I put on hold when I met ex.

Now that she's gone. I'm back. With a vengeance.

Paalam Na

Last day ko kanina sa team ko. Parang wala lang. Nag-email ang kliyente namin. Nagpasalamat. Pati engagement manager namin. At ang account manager ko dito sa Pinas. At ang team lead ko na Kano.

Nilibre ako at si Paul ng mga teammates namin ng lunch. Pa-despedida nila.

Pagbalik namin sa opisina niyakap ako ng isang kasamahan. Mamimiss daw nya ako. Di ako sumagot. Tumawa lang. Naiilang kasi ako sa ganyang mga bagay. I'd rather do those things privately. Yung walang nakakakita. Walang nagmamasid. Kami lang. At ang bubong. O ang mga bituin sa langit.

Pilit din niyang pinapaamin na mahal ko si Ms Melamine na wala naman talaga akong nararamdaman. Flirting lang ang pinaggagawa ko sa loob ng dalawang taon. Ayos kasi yung merong flirting sa opis. Nakaka-relieve ng stress.

Pero ng patapos na ang opis hours at sinimulan ko na ang pagsagot sa mga farewell emails muntikan na akong maiyak. Mahal na mahal ko kasi ang work ko sa account na yun at ang mga kasamahan ko.

Parati kaming masaya. Minsan lang ang pressure. Maluwag sa deadlines. Basta I had the best of both worlds.

Pero kailangan ko magsakripisyo. Sabi nga ng isang kasamahan sa ibang account "sacrificial lamb" daw kami. No big deal naisip ko.

Sana lang may mabuting maidudulot ito sa career ko. Suntok kasi ito sa buwan.

A Twist of Fate: An Update

The news that got to us was false. We thought we were safe. We thought we would still be complete. Happy times pa rin amidst the global financial crisis.

Then a week ago, my manager broke the news to me and a teammate (Paul) that 2 from the Manila team will be getting the boot. She chose to tell us since we had the power to, in her words, "save the asses of two teammates".

The reason? A new project has just been contracted and we were the (only) team members who matched the client's need. If all goes well and the client gives the nod then no retrenchment.

Paul was cool about the whole thing. I was not. I haven't used those skills the client needs for more than 2 years. Those weren't the skills I'm good at. I told them about my fears. They brushed it aside. They said I should review. And that they were confident I would impress the client.

That is scary. That's too much expectation. Too much pressure. I thought I was done with that kind of thing as soon as I got my license. I guess I was wrong.

Frankly, I don't want to leave my team. I love my job. I love chatting with people from all parts of the globe - Americans, Brits, Spanish, Chinese, Polish, French, Russians. I like the people I work with. They're fun. Cool. Brave. Green-minded. Assertive. Aggressive. They know me inside and out. They know when to avoid me when I'm in a bad mood. In short, they know my quirks.

But as much as I love my team I don't want to fail. Failure, for this instance, is not an option. I don't want to be the reason that a teammate would get retrenched. I don't want to be the reluctant villain. I want to be the guy who saved an ass. I want to be the hero.

But what price, if I pass the client's standards, would I have to pay in the long run? When my ass needs saving, will there be another Scud to act as the hero?

(Wednesday, February 4, 2009)

*****

It's final. I got in. I passed the interview. I made a good impression. I saved a teammate's job.

I learned the news Friday morning the minute I badged into the office. It was a bittersweet feeling. I heaved a sigh of relief.

My teammates chorused an "Aaaawwww!!!" when it was officially announced that I was moving to another account, that I initially did't want to, but had to do what's the best for the team.

I'm actually looking forward to the job, with trepidation of course. I've always looked at the glass half-empty. I'm a cynic. Always have been.

But my manager reminded me to look at it as an opportunity. Now, I think it is. It'll be a chance for me to prove my worth in the company. And I'll be mentoring someone. That'll be a challenge.

(Monday, February 9, 2009)

100

9 months, 4 days, 100 posts. That's a personal milestone, averaging 11 posts a month. Not bad for someone who used to maintain two other blogs and only managed 4-5 posts for each

This blog is stating put (for good) and since the last quarter of last year I started planning my 100th post. I thought of listing 100 things to do in my lifetime, same as raft3r's, but discarded the idea when I could not stretch the list to a hundred. I then contemplated blogging about:

a. my 100 favorite movies. I have more than 100 but could not make up my
mind which movie to scrap from the list. I ditched the idea.
b. 100 best blog posts of others. I have a few favorite posts but it was
too daunting a task rereading every post each blogger from my blog roll
had posted. Maybe next time.
c. my 10 best blog posts. I didn't even come close to making the list. I'm
not a big fan of my writing.

Discarding all three and leaving me with no choice, I reverted to my plagiarized idea. I classified the items into different categories to make it easier to reach 100. And by the way, some of these are fillers.

ADVENTURE
1. skinny dip
2. sky dive
3. go whitewater rafting
4. bungee jump
5. get involved in a bloody fist fight
6. backpack around the philippines
7. attend boot camp

ANIMALS
8. own a dog

BOOKS
9. read nick hornby's books
10. read haruki murakami's books
11. read khalil gibran's the prophet
12. read james ellroy's la confidential
13. own hardbound copies of all Harry Potter books (i have softbound copies of books 1, 2, and 4).
14. read stephen hawking's brief history of time
15. read ian mcewan's books
16. read kazuo ishiguro's books
17. finish reading my backlog of books (a total of 16 and counting)

CAREER
18. be a top-notch business analyst
19. be successful in my career and smugly turn down my former bosses who want to pirate me

CHARITY
20. help build a "Habitat for Humanity" shelter

EDUCATION
21. get a master's degree
22. get a mensa membership

FAMILY
23. pay off all of my parents' debts
24. watch a sharon cuneta concert with mama
25. watch an nba game with papa
26. watch the world cup match with my bro
27. have my own family

GADGETS TO OWN
28. nikon d90
29. macbook pro
30. nintendo wii
31. nokia e71

HEALTH
32. gain 10 more pounds
33. achieve 6-pack abs
34. run the treadmill at >= 9kh for at least 30 minutes without resting
35. wear contacts
36. discover a cure for cancer and diabetes
37. get a monthly massage

MONEY MATTERS
38. save a million pesos
39. set-up my own business

MOVIES
40. watch the decalogue
41. watch the best of youth
42. watch lav diaz's films
43 watch kung mangarap ka't magising
44. watch it happened one night
45. watch akira kurosawa's films
46. watch gerardo de leon's films

PLACES TO VISIT
47. new york city
48. paris
49. mt. pinatubo
50. mayon volcano
51. batanes
52. antulang
53. palawan
54. bantayan island
55. caramoan
56. grand canyon
57. phuket
58. camiguin
59. pagudpud
60. banaue rice terraces/sagada
61. great barrier reef

PEOPLE TO MEET
62. martina hingis
63. marat safin
64. arundhati roy
65. conrado de quiros
66. my great love

REAL ESTATE
67. own a beachfront property
68. own a resthouse in tagaytay
69. build a house with my own library and entertainment room with kickass sound system

SEX/DATING
70. watch a live show
71. interview a sex addict
72. get on the mile high club
73. go on a blind date
74. speed date

SKILLS
75. learn a foreign language
76. learn chess
77. learn tennis
78. learn to cook
79. learn to drive a car
80. learn to play the guitar
81. learn to swim
82. personally design my blog template

SPORTS
83. win a badminton tournament
84. win a bowling tournament
85. score a perfect 300 in bowling
86. attend a tennis grand slam tournament

STATE OF MIND
87. be fearless
88. be friendly
89. be cool

TV
90. join Survivor
91. join The Amazing Race
92. watch all seasons of The West Wing
93. watch all seasons of The X-Files
94. watch all seasons of The Wire
95. watch all seasons of OZ
96. watch all seasons of Battlestar Galactica

WRITING
97. write a book
98. write a screenplay
99. get published in PDI's Youngblood
100. win a Palanca

Scud's Random Thoughts: Part VI

Fever. Asthma. Cough. Colds. I have all of these inside of a week after moving in to our new office location. I blame it on (house) dust, which I am allergic to, and bad management. They made us move to the new site without vacuuming the whole floor. I heard that the floor was foggy with dust early Monday morning. Ggggrrrr...

I had dinner with a few friends a couple of nights back. Two of them are leaving - one for Melbourne, the other for Philadelphia. That means no summer outing, no dinners, and no Red Box for the whole gang.

I got my annual salary increase and it had me grinning from ear to ear. The amount isn't worth bragging but still it is way better than what I expected. I think I even got promoted since the percentage increase I got was in the same range as those from my team who got promoted earlier in the year. No cause for celebration. Performance evaluation rating is yet to be discussed with me and it is already a month delayed. Bad management!

Oscar nominations are out and you can find the official list here. There were major surprises. The Dark Knight was scratched from the Best Picture list and replaced with The Reader (the book, by the way, is a great read). Clint Eastwood's acclaimed and box office hit Gran Torino didn't get any Oscar love. Kate Winslet got nominated for Lead Actress, not for Revolutionary Road as widely predicted, but for The Reader. And Dev Patel who played the Slumdog Millionaire got shut out for Supporting Actor.

Today is the fifth day of the Australian Open. Roger Federer and Marat Safin will battle it out later for a place in the fourth round. I hope Safin wins. I'd be comfortably propped in my bed by then. I called-in sick.

Disconnection Notice

These are scary times.

Yesterday over a team lunch meeting my manager announced that our client's shares has plunged to record low levels and for that reason will be retrenching people from the outsourcing division - meaning us. The good news was that the US management has decided to keep the Philippine team and let go of some of the US team members. Smart decision since we get paid a lot less than our American counterparts. The bad news was that by March we will be on a 2.5 (3pm-12am) shift on a rotation basis to cover half of the US business hours. No one complained. That's better than having no job.

Late that afternoon I was IM'ing with a friend and she informed me of more grave news. Her company, which is a LARGE business, retrenched 500 of their people. She know a few of those retrenched. I know of only one.

The wrath of the economic crunch has finally reached Philippine shores.

Scud's Random Thoughts: Part V

I saw Twilight back home and it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. It didn't make me want to grab a copy either. The story was bland and so was Pattinson. I enjoyed Hitman and The Land Before Time. The latter movie was a hit with my niece. She demanded to watch the "dinosaur" movie every day.

*****

In addition to Norwegian Wood, I also finished John Knowles' A Separate Peace and Michael Ondaatje's Divisadero during my 17-day vacation. I liked Divisadero more than A Separate Peace. Maybe because I was expecting to be blown away by Knowles' book, which was highly recommended by someone, but I wasn't. Of the three, I would still recommend Norwegian Wood.

*****

2009 is the final season of competitive tennis for one of my favorite tennis players ever, Marat Safin. Hingis is gone and now him. Haay. Thank goodness there's Nadal, Djokovic, Murray, and Jankovic to cheer on.

*****

Today is my second day at work of the year. Petiks mode. No tasks. Idle. Blog hopping na naman. Wohooo!

*****

After ignoring my Facebook account for months I finally was able to update my profile, upload photos, and add friends. Facebook is way cooler than Friendster. I'm hooked.

*****

I received this ym message from a friend:

"kailangan ni son gokou ng tulong para matalo c majin boo
send this to ur friends pra matulungan c gokou
wag kang tumawa!!
para ito sa kaligtasan ng planet earth!!!
Itaas nyo mga kamay nyo para mkabuo ng spirit ball
please.. wag kang tumawa!
para to sa kaligtasan ng planet earth!"

Have a great week, everyone!

The Day After Tomorrow

It's 10 minutes past 10pm. I've been in the office for almost 11 hours. Whew! I don't mind. Today is my last day at work anyway. For this year. Hehe.

In a couple of days I'll be flying back to my hometown to spend the holidays. 17 days of fresh air, of gentle people, and of a place which I will always call home. Wohooo!

I already made some plans - go to the beach, hit the gym, get a massage, and sleep till noon. Then there's my target of completing 3 books and my year-long 10-season Friends marathon.

And I'll still be blogging. It's an addiction, really. But no one's complaining.

Have a great week everyone!

Stoked!

I'm stoked! I sent out my resume to a financial services firm a week ago (not related to my previous post) and totally forgot about the whole thing because of work and other stuff. Early this week they called that they were interested. Four days and two phone interviews later I got the job. Woohoo! Now, I hope they give me the salary and benefits that's hard to turn down. How's that for ending the year with a bang?

*****

Update:
I declined the offer. With the financial crisis and a 9pm-6am shift, the pay wasn't worth it. My teammates who knew I had a job offer were more disappointed than me when they learned how much the offer was. Haha. Now I do hope that job I previously blogged will call. That would be a great Christmas gift.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Chances Are

A couple of weeks back I sent out my resume to a company who was in urgent need of IT people. The HR gave me a call that I was qualified for the job and advised me to modify my resume before it can be forwarded to the client. I did and had my first client interview.

A week later I heard my manager, whose workstation is just a few feet from mine, talking to someone over the phone. A few minutes after ending the call she burst out laughing. She called my lead and other teammates within earshot that she had a funny story to tell. My teammates immediately gathered near her workstation. I didn't join in the huddle since I was swamped with work. But I eavesdropped.

This is how her story goes.

Just that morning she sent out her resume to a prospective employer. The HR called and informed her to reformat her resume and that a template had been sent to her email address. When the email arrived she was surprised that the template sent was my modified resume!

When I heard that part I turned my chair around in disbelief. Everyone was laughing. I was like wtf! I was pissed for a bit until it sunk in that the whole thing was actually funny. I wondered if my resume is really that good that it was now being used as a template.

That bit of news reached the company and two weekends ago the erring HR called me to apologize. It was no big deal really. I wasn't going to blow the whole thing out of proportion. I did ask if how many copies of my resume were sent out. It turned out that the HR only sent it to one applicant - to my manager. Kung mamalasin ka nga naman.

And one more thing. I passed the first client interview. Wohooo! The second is in the works. Probably in the next couple of weeks. If I get hired, which I don't think will happen, then in a month or two I'd be in a plane scared shitless but excited of a new life in a foreign land.

Bounce

It's a half-hour before the clock strikes 2am on a Saturday morning. I just got back from a drinking binge with five of my teammates. My eyes are drooping but I can't seem to fall asleep. Thoughts are running through my head. Random thoughts that I can't quite put into writing.

I am doing fine now. Thursday night was maybe an effect of working for 13 hours trying to debug a program that refused to be debugged. It was mentally draining. I felt incompetent. Brainless. Dull.

I finally found the fix late Friday afternoon after hours of computer-cursing and mouse-bashing. I was ecstatic. And so was the client. She said we need to go out for dinner, her treat, when I'd go and visit the client site. I don't think that would happen. She lives in the East Coast. And well, you know where I live.

45 minutes has passed since I started writing this entry. My back aches. My eyes hurt. That's the signal to finally hit the sack. I leave you with this text message that my officemate sent me minutes after we parted ways earlier.

i drink.
i fight.
i flirt.
i go home late.

these are the things
that make others
hate me

but what they
don't know is
that

i drink with the people i
trust who'll take care of
me when i am drunk.

i fight when my loved
ones were hurt and knowing
that i'm fighting for the right
thing.

i flirt with someone that i
know only flirts with me and
not with somebody else.

and i go home late cause i
just don't want any of my
friends going home alone.

those people who
understand and will
understand, those are true
friends!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Apollo 13

Debugging, as defined in whatis.com, is the process of locating and fixing or bypassing bugs (errors) in computer program code or the engineering of a hardware device. When someone says they've debugged a program or "worked the bugs out" of a program, they imply that they fixed it so that the bugs no longer exist.

Part of the debugging process is inserting customized messages in the program to trap (determine) where the error resides. A programmer should always keep in mind to remove these messages when the error is fixed before the program is moved to production.

A year ago, a teammate was enhancing one of the systems that we were supporting. She successfully debugged her program code and removed all of the customized messages. Or so she thought.

A day after the program was moved to production, my US team lead checked out the recently-enhanced system. He created then deleted dummy accounts, clicked buttons, navigated from one web page to another. To his surprise, he encountered a pop-up message when he was doing one of these things. The message said:

He promptly emailed my teammate inquiring about the message. My lead is cool. In two years of working under him he has never blown his top. He just reminds us that everyone make mistakes and to not commit the same mistake twice. So when we heard about the goof, we had a field day teasing our teammate. It was hilarious.

Scud's Random Thoughts: Part III

Prince of Persia, the video game that to this day I still have to figure out how to play in my psp, is now being shot as a live action movie starring Jake Gyllenhaal. Wohoo! I hope the movie is as bloody as the video game. Hehe...

*****

I watched the last few games of the 2nd and 3rd set of the federer-murray round robin match at the Tennis Masters Cup in Shanghai which the latter won in 3 tight sets 4-6, 7-6, 7-5. It was a fascinating match. Excellent shotmaking. Drop shots, slices, net play, laserlike groundstrokes, unbelievable gets. It was not your typical slam bang tennis.

Two memorable games stood out that Federer won. These were the 36-shot rally late in the 2nd set and the 20-minute 10-deuce 10th game of the 3rd set. I tell you, if they only played those two games in the match I would still have gotten my money's worth. The match reminded me a bit of the classic Wimbledon final played this year.

Here's hoping Nole and Andy win their respective semifinal matches today.

*****

Survivor Update! Charisse won immunity and Vern got the boot. Nagsimula na ang pagtatanggal sa mga Jarakays. Cha's head is in the chopping block next week courtesy of the black pearl but I'm guessing the Naaks will boot out Marlon next. Too bad since Marlon is a pretty good strategic player. Maangas nga lang.

*****

I was scourging for books at Booksale last Sunday and found a copy of Bernhard Schlink's The Reader for 40 pesos. Wohooo! A few weeks back I also found copies of Tom Perotta's Little Children, John Grogan's Marley & Me, and James Frey's A Million Little Pieces. I actually have the last two books but they were too cheap to pass up and in mint condition to boot. Parang binili ko sa Powerbooks.

*****

I finally found a copy of Haruki Murakami's Norwegian Wood at Bestseller's. It was a little bit expensive than the usual paperback books but what the heck. Nag-iisang copy na lang yun. People who have read the book say that it is similar, and in some way, better than J.D. Salinger's The Catcher in the Rye. I hope I won't be disappointed.

*****

One time my manager (female) wanted to charge her laptop but since there was no free power outlet on her cube she asked my team lead (male) if she could use my tl's power outlet. My TL agreed. This was their conversation a few hours later:

Manager : TL, pakihugot na nga nyan. Kanina pa yan nakasaksak eh. Nag-iinit na dito (referring to her laptop).
Team Le : (Laughing) Ano'ng ihuhugot ko? Wala naman ah. At ba't ka naman nag-iinit.
Manager : (Laughing) Baliw!

*****

An officemate, who I shall be calling Ms Melamine, started a conversation with me regarding musical plays. We talked about West Side Story which we both watched separately. She babbled on about the other plays she had attended. I feigned interest and played with my pc's mouse instead. After a few minutes, she mentioned that a Hollywood musical starring John Travolta was being locally staged and was grasping for the title. She asked me what the title was. I feigned ignorance.

Allow me to digress a bit. I have to write about this. Hehe. I'm pretty good at remembering movie titles. I remember a few month's back our 16-member team held charades. Local movie titles daw. Each person must write on paper a movie titles that they want the other team to guess. I wrote "Ang Sawa sa Lumang Simboryo". When entry was picked it was a riot. They couldn't figure out what simboryo was. Yza, who unfortunately picked my title, complained incessantly and tried to draw a snake on the white board. Her teammates shouted "Ano yan? Bulate?". More laughter.

Now back to Ms Melamine. I thought for a bit and told her I didn't know what the title was. Then she smiled. Parang alam na daw niya ang title. Sounds like "Paintbrush" daw. I burst out laughing. In between gasps for breath I told her I knew what the title was. "Hairspray". I laughed some more while she pouted and beat my arm with her stuffed toy. Sweet!

Scud's Random Thoughts: Part II

A survey came out friday that the leading presidential candidate for the 2010 elections is Noli de Castro. Wtf! Di na talaga natuto tayong mga Pinoy. Are we seriously going to vote someone who made a career out of reading the news and hosting a magazine talk show? Are we going to vote someone who has not said nary a word regarding the corruption and lies that hound the administration he is serving? Lord help us if he wins.

*****

Venus Williams beat Vera Zvonareva 6-7, 6-0, 6-2 in the finals of the WTA Championships in Doha. She won an incredible $1.34M for winning all five matches in the 8-woman field tournament. Wow! The commentator mentioned that Martina Hingis and Venus turned professional one week from each other. And that Hingis won her 5 majors even before Venus won her first at Wimbledon in 2000. This year, Hingis has retired and Venus is still in the tour winning her 7th Slam and 5th Wimbledon title. I told a friend a few weeks back that I don't have the same passion for the WTA after Hingis retirement. Bummer.

*****

The ATP Championships (Shanghai Masters) is currently being held in Shanghai. Novak Djokovic has guaranteed himself a spot in the semifinals after winning his first two matches against del Potro and Davydenko. Wohoo! I'm hoping Nole meets Murray in the finals.

*****

On our weekly Manila team meeting last Friday our manager informed us that we can individually talk to the higher management regarding our salary increases. For what? Para lalong mainis? Ma-bad trip? Hindi na. Maghahanap na lang ako ng malilipatan. I actually won't know my increase until mid-December when I turn 2 years but based on ALL who have received theirs, my prospect of getting a decent increase won't happen. Bummer.

*****

Blogging. Ito ang kinahihiligan ko lately. An online journal. Pansin niyo naman halos araw-araw ako nagpopost. Araw-araw din ako nag-tsetsek ng blogs ng iba. Ayos magbasa ng blogs lalo ung mga "personal" bloggers. Sila yung mga nagsusulat about their personal experiences, thoughts, dreams, and aspirations. These bloggers pour their hearts out in their writings, giving me a glimpse of the lives they live. These bloggers inspire and make me forget the sometimes rotten life that I live. Atticus, Duke, Ely, Jayclops, Zherwin - saludo ako sa inyo. Pinapangarap ko that I could write as well as you all do. Props also goes to Raft3r, whose blog I accidentally stumbled on yesterday, who write short but interesting entries.

*****

I chanced upon the TV show A Moment of Truth on Saturday while waiting for the rain to stop. The premise of the show is a contestant is placed on the hot seat and asked very personal and damning questions. After a certain number of questions is answered correctly, the contestant wins $25000 and can go up to $500000. It' showcases man's greed and how man is willing to sacrifice treasured relationships. The guy on the hot seat on Saturday's show confessed tht he maintains a spreadsheet of all the girls he has slept with, that he has had over 100 sexual relations with women, that he got paid for sex in college while his parents, sister, girlfriend,and friend looked on. Then he stopped when he won $100000. I'm not sure if this show is bogus or not but it sure caught my attention. And I have to admit, I was entertained. Aabangan ko yun sa Sabado. Haha...

*****

I finished reading Sebastian Junger's non-fiction book A Death in Belmont about a serial killer, aptly named Boston Strangler, who strangled and raped women in the 60s in Boston. It is a nice book to read but not one that I would recommend.

*****

Watching A Very Special Love, starring John Lloyd Cruz and Sarah Geronimo, was a welcome respite from the dreary movies I've watched for the past few weeks. The film is not an entirely a love story but also about acceptance. It was sweet, funny, and utterly forgettable.

*****

Survivor Philippines is getting better and better everyday. Kiko's ouster changed the dynamics of the game and made it more interesting. I still hate Marlon even though he's a hoot. Tarantadong gago. He should get the boot but based on what I saw on last night's episode where Nay Zita was interviewed looking fresh and well-rested wearing a yellow-orange blouse (which I think she has not worn in previous episodes) is a telling sign that she gets the boot Friday. Dammit!

A Much Needed Break

I called in sick today. I have been sick for the past couple of weeks but I still dragged myself to work every morning since I was given this task, which is pretty major, to do some program changes before the UK and US reverts to Standard Time. Ganyan ako kasipag. But I'm going to stop being a workaholic from hereon. You see, most of my teammates got their salary letters and they got only a whopping 2% salary increase. Mataas pa ang interest ng mga credit cards. I won't know mine till December when I turn 2 years old sa company ko. Pero alam ko na ngayon kung magkano yun. Peste. Nakakawalang ganang mag-trabaho.

Kaya eto ako ngayon. Nagpapahinga. Nagbabasa ng libro. Nanood ng Heroes. Manonod ng movies mamaya. Sarap ng buhay ko. Ngayon lang naman. Escapism. Hehe.

Fucked Up

For the nth time, I fucked up another major release. Dammit! I checked and doubled checked and triple checked the program but for some reason the error escaped my (and the tester's) very watchful eye.

I'm pretty sure I'll get a terrible rating in December and kiss my promotion goodbye. This is fucking depressing. I'm fucked up. Embarrassed. I feel incompetent. Tired. Drained.

This is the time that I badly need someone to talk to, to share drinks and spend a night with. But there's no one. Not even a friend.

I'm thinking of going to a place where no one knows me - like Boracay or Palawan. It would just be me, my books, my ipod, and the beach. It would be therapeutic. It would be a great way to unwind. To escape this quagmire. To be alone. To gather my thoughts. To recharge. To be in nirvana.

And no, we're not thinking the same thing. I won't be doing a Cobain.