Fucked Up

For the nth time, I fucked up another major release. Dammit! I checked and doubled checked and triple checked the program but for some reason the error escaped my (and the tester's) very watchful eye.

I'm pretty sure I'll get a terrible rating in December and kiss my promotion goodbye. This is fucking depressing. I'm fucked up. Embarrassed. I feel incompetent. Tired. Drained.

This is the time that I badly need someone to talk to, to share drinks and spend a night with. But there's no one. Not even a friend.

I'm thinking of going to a place where no one knows me - like Boracay or Palawan. It would just be me, my books, my ipod, and the beach. It would be therapeutic. It would be a great way to unwind. To escape this quagmire. To be alone. To gather my thoughts. To recharge. To be in nirvana.

And no, we're not thinking the same thing. I won't be doing a Cobain.