Friday, June 12, 2009

Heartless

My friends told me to move on. That I deserve someone worthy of me.

I tried. I tried not to make memories of us linger on my thoughts. God knows how hard I tried to let go.

At the back of my mind, though, I could not totally let go. I held on to the thought that we could get back together. That the memory of us could somehow rekindle what we once had.

I had a particular day in mind. Judgment Day I called it. That day would tell me if we still had one more stab at us.

The day arrived and I hoped and expected and waited but it was all for naught.

Every text message I received my heart would skip a bit thinking it was finally you. It wasn't.

I checked messages from all of my email addresses and YM account but none were from you.

I realized then that you are not coming back. Gone from my life. For good.

I realized too that it is finally time to totally let go and move on. There's no sense of holding on. You no longer care. I know that to be true. And it hurts. A bit.

For the first and final time, allow me to quote your last line -- "Salamat na lang sa lahat."

Goodbye, baby. I love you.

-----

To those who think I should not be the one doing the waiting think again.

I didn't want to make the first move since I have exhausted all possible means to bring her back without losing my soul. The ball, as they say, was in her hands and she chose to throw away the basket.

15 comments:

atticus said...

one day at a time, man. it will pass. mag-shoot ka nang mag-shoot. magbasa. pag naisip mo, ipilig ang ulo at isipin ang iyong happy place. place lang, ha? huwag nang magsama ng person. para gumaan na ang iyong pakiramdam.

Andy Briones said...

Keep yourself busy para mejo makalimutan mo siya. French Film Fest na sa Shang — movie marathan time! Sugod kapatid!

Skron said...

Man, one day, you're going to regret posting stuff like this.

gillboard said...

there is a vast ocean!!! dami isda dyan... sabi nga...

a heartbreak is a blessing from God. It maybe a nightmare that leaves you crying in the middle of the night. But it's God's way of letting you realize that He saved you from the wrong one.

Word Verification: bless

The Scud said...

atticus > lumipas na yan. hehe. i'm good. last post ko na yan about that.

andy > sana makakuha ng ticket. last chance ko na this long weekend.

The Scud said...

skron > bakit? di ko na ulit binabasa mga posts ko. nakakailang basahin even my "light" and "humor" posts. hehe.

gillboard > tama ka! tsaka last emo post ko na yan about that topic. pag nag-post ulit ako libre kita starbucks at iuntog mo ulo ko sa pader. nyahaha.

The Gasoline Dude said...

Time heals all wounds. You'd get over it soon.

len said...

One unexpected day, you'll just going to laugh this off. :p

Raft3r said...

one day at a time, ika nga
kaya yan
after all, she's just a girl
=)

The Scud said...

gasdude > nakapag get-over na ako. :D

len > someday i will. sa ngayon smile lang muna. hehe.

raft3r > kinaya ko na. happy weekend!

.pOot! said...

hai! kakalungkot naman yun. while reading your post, i remember the time when me and my former gf broke up almost 3 years ago. i already move one with my life but until now i'm still searching for someone to replace her. *sniffs*

hayaan mo. kung kayo talaga ang para sa isa't isa... kayo at kayo kahit anong mangyari.

tandaan mo merong DESTINY. hehe. pasensyahan na lang tayo kung di ka naniniwala dun.

bukas pinto ng bahay ko sakaling mapadaan ka. :)

Sonia said...

chaka post, C. hehe. Glad you got that off your chest. Emo posting can be very therapeutic. Forget about foresight, you have a psuedonym anyway. :-)

Raft3r said...

astig
moved on na
that's my boy
hehe

The Scud said...

poot > naniniwala ako sa destiny. cable. i know. corny. haha. thanks for dropping by. balik ka ulit.

sonia > it is. i like your new profile pic. i wonder who took that. :p

The Scud said...

raft3r > syempre. may needs tayo. nyahaha.