Thursday, March 12, 2009

Dance with His Father

I had just finished working out. I opened my locker, fished out my phones, and checked my messages. There were three.

The first was from my brother asking me to buy him a Francis Magalona shirt. I mentally noted to buy him one.
The second was from a friend cancelling a date. I blogged about this here.
The last one was from another friend. Our common friend she said, who is based in London since last year, is coming home.
His dad died.

I know that my friend was having the best year of his life in the UK. His online photo albums can attest to this - pics of him in Paris. Rome. Barcelona. He has bought gadgets that he wanted to own. A PSP. A Canon EOS 450D. A MacBook.

Then the tragic news.

I later learned that his dad was a victim of hit and run. Caused by a reckless jeepney driver somewhere in Recto. That is devastating. To have someone taken away from you that way. Death by natural cause(s)would have been much easier to accept.

*****

When I and this friend would get together, which we seldom do, we always talk about our respective families. I would talk about my niece. He his nephew. I would talk about my brother. He his siblings. I would rant about my work. He would rave about his.

But we never talked about his parents. He has mentioned his father only twice, though never his mother, since we became friends back in 2004. I remember him telling me that whenever he would have the 6am shift his father would wake up early to fix his coffee and cook his breakfast. He fondly told me about this. And I'm sure he will terribly miss.

He is back in town now. He called a friend of mine a few hours ago. He said he was still in a state of shock. Di pa daw nagsisink-in na wala na ang tatay niya.
I haven't texted him. Or called to give my condolences. I want to leave him alone for now. Alone with his father. His family. His thoughts.
Tomorrow will be different though. I'll be going to the wake after work with a friend. I'm not sure what I'd say. Or how I'd act. But I want to hug my friend. Give him a pat in the back. Be a shoulder to cry on. Be there when he needs someone to talk to. Be there to share his anger. His pain. His grief.

*****

I'm going to end this post with Luther Vandross' Dance with My Father. This is a terrific song from a terrific album of the same title.

8 comments:

the donG said...

thats a tragic experience for your friend scud. good that you decided to give more space.

gillboard said...

Send my condolences to your friend and his family.

Sonia said...

true...death is never easy to accept. hey, conrado de quiros wrote a good column about losing someone a week ago in the inquirer. it was good...and very fitting.

len said...

I know the feeling of losing someone who means the world to me because of death. Life can sometimes give us painful surprises.


I love this song the first time I heard it.

The Scud said...

dong > it was tragic. at nakakainis na meron talagang careless drivers.

gillboard > i will.

sonia > i read that column. galing no. atticus and one other blogger wrote about death too. great reads.

len > i first heard that song when scott savol from AI Season 4 sang that. galing no?

Raft3r said...

sad news

death, regardless of what the optimists say, is always a tragedy

my prayers go out to your friend and his/her family

btw, ako din gusto bumili ng francis m shirt
sa broadway centrum daw, eh
hindi ko pa naman alam kung san yon

The Scud said...

raft3r > malapit ata sa gilmore ang broadway centrum na yan. sabi meron din daw sa sm bacoor. ang layo!

len said...

I first heard that song from PDA scholar Lizelle. She, too, sang it very well.

Medyo may pagka-daddy's girl ako kaya nagustuhan ko iyan song na iyan. hehe

Btw, I think may slip of the hand sa unang comment ko. Should be "I know the feeling of losing someone who means the world to you..." :p